I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that most of us have probably done something that we regret?
I’ve been around church my whole life and gone to Sunday school, gone to youth, sat in services week after week, went to conferences and camps and heard all the messages and sermons and teaching about Gods forgiveness and unfailing love, about Jesus dying for our sin and taking it away, washing us clean as snow. So why then do I so often feel like the kind of snow that’s been on the side of a busy road for a few days rather then the fresh untouched pure powdery snow that I’m supposed to feel like?
Why is there such a disconnect between what we have been taught and told all these years, and how we actually feel after we mess up, or are reminded of when we messed up?
In Joel 2 12-13, it says. That is why the Lord says, “Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
Now I don’t think I have ever literally ripped a piece of clothing in grief, but it paints a pretty honest picture of some of the moment I felt like absolute trash for things I’ve done, ways I’ve hurt the ones I love, and even sometime years later when it gets brought up and I haven’t given it up to God and fully accepted his unfailing love and forgiveness, it comes again.
Something that I’ve learned over a long time and still have to be reminded of almost daily is that God is eager to forgive, eager relent, eager to restore, eager to redeem. And that receiving those things comes not from our outward expression of guilt and shame and pain, but from the inward manifestation of the perfect love it takes to overcome the dirty filthy side of the road snow that clogs us up when we sin and carry ourselves further away from God.
What are you tearing your clothes over today? What has got you all tangled up in knots trying your hardest to free yourself from? Or are you just tying more knots cause you think you deserve to be tangled and tied? Maybe its really bad, maybe its just been there for so long that you have no clue how to actually live without it.
But I pray that today you can tear your hearts not your clothes, return to God for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to anger, and filled with unfailing love.
Don’t be a slave to your sinful past. Don’t let it consume you and change the person you are or the path your supposed to take. To let it affect your marriage or your relationships with others. Forgive yourself, and forgive your loved ones. Stop with the outward show of grief and start with the inward manifestation of your heart purification.
Love you all, God bless.